"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain..."

"There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a p..."

"We haven't all had the good fortune to be ladies; we haven't all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toa..."